Uncategorized

MSBS Breaking News!

Santa Cancels Christmas!

Santa has decided not to make his annual trip around the globe delivering toys to all the good boys and girls (and coal to the not so good!) this year.

We talked to Santa recently, and he explained why:

MSBS News: Santa, why have you decided not to participate in Christmas this year?

Santa: Well, as you know, the world is in the middle of a pandemic with various restrictions in place around the world. Masks are required, making it virtually impossible for me to communicate with my reindeer. Rudolph’s light is on, but it’s not very bright, if you catch my drift. I have to constantly shout out directions to him to keep him on track!

The reindeer also absolutely refuse to wear masks, and even though there is no evidence of direct transmission to and from animals and humans, we decided it was best not to take a chance—after all, the virus did originate in a bat in China. And then there are all these ridiculous travel restrictions! Sheesh, I don’t have time to get tested and/or quarantine every time I cross a border—I have to do this in one night! So those are the main reasons.

MSBS News: You said those are the main reasons? Are there any other reasons, Trump’s border policies perhaps?

Santa: Well, we’ve been having problems getting stuff to make toys. Contrary to popular belief we don’t make everything at the North Pole, we rely heavily on slave, er low-cost labor, to produce most of the items we ship. Shipping has slowed down, it takes longer to get what we need. As far as Trump’s border policies, we’ve had no problems, we got the “star” on our sleigh that authorizes us to cross borders freely. Frankly, I think border control is a good idea, especially with a pandemic going on—if it’s as serious as they say it is.  Based on some of the statistics I’ve seen I have my doubts, but we’re taking precautions regardless.

And then there’s the usual elves strike that we go through every year—but we got through that okay.

MSBS News: Donald Trump: Naughty or Nice?

Santa: Nice

MSBS News: What about Joe Biden?

Santa: Naughty.

MSBS News: Finally, Boxers or Briefs?

Santa: Thongs.

MSBS News: Thank you Santa.  Coming up after the break—Was there election fraud in 2020 or is this yet another lie by Trump to justify his declaring martial law and remaining in power indefinitely? Why has Trump still not denounced White Power and Supremacists groups? Is this all part of his plan to seize power back from duly elected Joe Biden? Find out after the break. This is MSBS News.